Imagine yourself in any of these scenarios… you’re stuck in traffic… your lap top crashes… your child has a temper tantrum… your romantic partner verbally lashes out at you…
What happens next? How do you usually react?
Do you… shut down… yell and cuss…leave in a flurry… or get emotionally flooded and overwhelmed?
Probably doesn’t make things better does it??
Statistics show that the average reaction time for people is 0.25 seconds to a visual stimulus, 0.17 for an audio stimulus, and 0.15 seconds for a touch stimulus.
Whoa! That’s not a lot of time to choose a productive response… Is it a wonder why the majority of those reactions are usually unconscious negative ones?!
Before you get into trouble, open your mouth to react, get lost in obsessive analysis of someone’s behavior or worry about the future… try this Zen Master trick instead…
I know that sounds incredibly simple but it is a time proven peace of wisdom. When you sense your emotions about to take over – take a deep breath and bring your awareness to your body… and breathe. Instead of suppressing, reacting or pushing negative emotions away, allow and lean into them by pausing. The key is to create SPACE between yourself and your reaction.
Here’s a personal example:
I recently went to the DMV (also known as the 7th level of hell, ha!) But I digress… After an hour of waiting for my number to be called I made my way up to the information desk. Eager, pleasant and prepared I handed the attendant all my paperwork… only to then be informed, by a not very friendly person, that I wouldn’t be able to process my paperwork after all. I didn’t have a necessary document that I didn’t know was necessary.
Ohh my… A shot of adrenaline ran thru my body, my heart started pumping and I immediately felt overheated.
In that moment, I was frustrated and annoyed at her, the rules and the DMV! Which instantly reminded me of how irritated I was that I even had to be dealing with this at all!
I thought, “How dare her?! Does she not know or care how long I’ve been waiting?! Can’t she see what a major ordeal this is for me?! ”
However, I’ve done enough soul work to know those emotions and thoughts weren’t about her or the DMV.
I paused… I took a deep breath in thru my nose and let it out with a soft sigh. Pausing brought me back into the present moment. It allowed me to choose to engage calmly in the discussion and then simply walk away.
Pausing brings awareness to your mind… to your body… to the people around you… to the real story and your role in it. Only then can you become more intentional with your actions. Instead of reacting, you’re intentionally responding. Instead of mindless reaction, you choose mindful action.
And if you still choose to enter the argument, at least you’re making the decision consciously, rather than letting your emotions decide for you.
Pausing allows you to take a breath and remember what’s important. It allows spiritual guidance to show you your options and help you make productive decisions. It allows you to interrupt the automatic reactive response that no longer serves you or your well-being.
Our minds will wander and we will get emotionally triggered. The goal is not to stop feeling negative emotions or to stop thinking negative thoughts… That’s almost impossible!
The goal is to create enough space around them that they are not unconsciously in charge and controlling our lives.
The more intentional healing work you do, the more meditating you do, the more conscious you become about your thinking and feelings – the less the mind will wander and the less negative emotions get triggered.
Give it a try next time your emotions are about to take over… and get your power back!
Much Love! xo
Tell me your tips and tricks for staying present and empowered when your emotions are about to take over! 🙂
One of my all time favorite quotes is by Jill Bolte Taylor. She says, “Please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space”.
Well I’d like to add… “Please be responsible for the energy you BRING into a space…the energy you LIVE WITH… and the energy you LEAVE in a space.”
Recently, I cleared out a storage bin full of my personal stuff in LA. I’d been avoiding dealing with that storage bin for over a year due to dread and heartache. However, when it came time to clear it out, it was surprisedly easy. Ohh sure – it was surreal and bittersweet but the timing was finally right!
After all the items were moved out, I stood in that small 7×9 space in silence and awe… I acknowledged and thanked the space for holding my personal items until I was ready to deal with it… And then I said ‘I bless and release you. thank you and goodbye’. That might sound silly or too “woo woo” for you but knowing what I know about energy, I believe it was absolutely necessary.
I wanted to be responsible for removing all of my energy out of that storage bin. I knew I need to fully integrate those fragmented parts of me that had been sitting dormant. It was time to be fully present and conscious in my new life, my new home, my body and my emotions.
Part of the work I do with my clients is helping them integrate and embody their full authentic selves into their lives. The best place to start is in their living space. Its amazing how your home is a metaphor for how you live your life!
With the intention of being fully conscious in your life… Consider this… You’ve probably heard me talk about the importance of space clearing before you move into a new home or office… but have you considered doing it after you’ve…
Cleaned your home or rearranged furniture?
Had an argument or heated conversation?
Or a moment of sadness or bout of depression?
Moving out of the space?
Between meetings, clients or sessions?
If not, I encourage you to start today!
Be intentional and responsible for the energy you bring, create and surround yourself in… its part of living a conscious and transformative life.
Positive energy and high vibrating spaces produce creative and healing environments.
Here are 5 simple tips and tools to raise the vibration and enhance the energy in a room:
CLEAN. You can always identify stagnant or low vibration corners or sections by following the dust bunnies and spider webs. Another way is to pay attention to your plants… do they keep dying in certain parts of your house no matter how hard you try?! Could be time to clean and lift the energy… and while you’re at it – go ahead and move those plants!:)
PURE INCENSE. Light a stick of pure incense. Its the simple and sacred act of pausing and reflecting. I use that time to invoke a blessing into the space. I have recreate a ritual of lighting an incense stick each morning as soon as I wake up to bless my home and day.
SAGE. Its one of the most ancient and purest forms of cleansing a person, group or space. The sacred act of burning sage is used by churches, cultures and healers even today. Unfortunately, it has a very smoky pungent smell. I prefer a smokeless sage spray. This hand made blend called Smudge Spray by EarthHome is my favorite. Its mixed with pure essential oils like cedar, lavender and rose water. Its one of the most potent and effective sprays I’ve seen on the market. Can’t recommend it enough.
MAKE SOME NOISE. Break up stale and stagnant energy with noise by clapping your hands or ringing a bell. Once the tone is clear and has good resonance – you’ll know you’ve enhanced the flow of energy and restored vibrational harmony. Higher quality sounding bells are ideal. I’ve recently received a rare Balinese Priest bell used only in ceremonies and temples. Needless to say, I love it and it does the job! 😉
ROSE WATER. Once the space is cleaned out its time to invoke the space with a blessing, affirmation or bright light. Unfortunately, most people forget this important last step. I spray Rose water because Rose has the highest energy vibration of all known oils. Most essential oil frequencies start at 52Hz. Damask Rose Oil frequency is 320Hz. How’s that for raising the vibration of a room?!
Were these tips helpful? Let me know! And feel free to forward to a friend who might need to boost their space!
Interested in 1-on-1 coaching with me? Email me to discuss how we can work together!
Much Love! xo